I need you so
by darkenedroom
Summary: Kate thinks about Jack. Pos-finale. Songfic.


_PS: English is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes!_

_PS 2: I took the song "I love you" by Sarah McLachlan_

**_Kate's POV_**

The sea is calm. The sun harmoniously shines over my skin and brings me some pleasant warmth but not so hot.

I stare at the horizon and let my feet sink in salt water, whose waves hit against my shank from time to time. I like the sensation of sinking as I feel the sand disappearing under the soles of my feet, taken by the stream.

And then he comes. Taking away my peace, he just appears. I don't need to look around; I already feel his presence, I know he comes towards me. Even so, I turn my face to him and then we exchange glances.

_**I have a smile stretched from ear to ear**_

_**I see you walking down the road**_

He looks at me in a quiet manner; he narrows his eyes, trying to avert them from the sunlight. Everything seems to become even more peaceful; I can't hear the noise from the beach; the people talking, the waves' shaking…Suddenly it's a deserted place.

_**We meet at the lights, I stare for a while**_

_**The world around us disappears**_

_**It's just you and me on my island of hope**_

Jack smiles. His face is serene. He is quiet and he continues staring at me. I smiled back. Our exchanges of glances are equivalent to thousand words. I decide to approach.

_**A breath between us could be miles**_

_**Let me surround you, a sea to your shore**_

_**Let me be the calm you seek**_

I walk towards him. I start unwittingly crying but my tears are tears of joy.

-Jack! How is this possible, are you here? I can see you! All that happened before was a nightmare, wasn't it? We are in the island and you're not hurt. We can be together, we are together!

He remains silent. Then, like magic, he is not here anymore.

_**But everytime I'm close to you**_

_**There's too much I can't say**_

_**And you just walk away**_

Suddenly I jumped. I'm sweating, breathless and scared. My mind is puzzled; it takes a little while until I realized that I wasn't at the beach, I was just dreaming.

I notice my dark bedroom and look around. The window is open, the cold wind at the night hits against the curtain, provoking an unsettling ballet.

I sit down in bed, hugging my knees to my chest and leaning over them. I shrink due to the cold weather. I can't avoid my tears, I try to close my eyes again; I want to go back to sleep to finish my dream. Did I tell him foolishness? Did I pull him away? I wish I had told him so many things! The first of them is "I love you" These were the last words he heard from me. And the last words I heard from him.

_**And I forgot **_

_**to tell you**_

_**I love you**_

I decide to lie down. I strongly close my eyelids but my effort just failed. And there it goes, one more night awaken.

-Could you appear? Come back, Jack! Please, Jack, please!

_**And night's too long**_

_**And cold here**_

_**Without you**_

But he didn't appear. And I'm alone again. I dampen my pillow with my tears and I hug the pillow which lies next to me; it belonged to Jack when we lived together. The pain that I feel doesn't live me alone. I remember the warmth of his body next to mine, heating me at night. And when I couldn't sleep, he used to embrace me. I still can feel the taste of his lips; I keep this last memory with me.

I start blaming myself for many things. Things we didn't go through, things we let go…

_**I grieve in my co**__**ndition**_

_**For I cannot find the words to say**_

_**I need you so**_

I take my mobile phone on top of the bedside table and I desperately search for Jack's voice messages, the ones that I had never been able to delete, despite we had broken up. Now I understand why. When I listen to his voice, my heart just calms down. I look at the portrait that I had brought from the living room and I faithfully kiss the picture of him and Aaron.

I count the hours; I wish they would elapse in a hurry and I eagerly hope the day that I will see him again. And then I will say to him how I missed him. I cling to this hope to keep on living and moving on.

_**And I forgot to tell you**_

_**I love you**_

_**And night's too long**_

_**And cold here**_

_**Without you**_

_**I grieve in my condition**_

_**For I cannot find the words to say**_

_**I need you so**_

**THE END**


End file.
